Slowly, we change. Every single day. The changes are incremental & sometimes miniscule. Often, we don’t even notice change is occurring. Sometimes it seems as though you are standing still, but one day you’ll look back & think how did I even get here? Look at the process of aging.
It all seems so slow when you’re living it.
That’s certainly been my experience in healing.
It began, inexplicably, with a challenge.
Attend 30 classes this month, next month is free! Who honestly expects this yoga studio challenge to change their life?
Not me, that’s for sure.
I’ve never been so grateful to be so utterly wrong.
I was in my mid-30s & had been practicing yoga solo for 5 years. This silly challenge is what pulled me into a studio. I remember thinking “Why Kristen? Why are you joining this? You don’t need to go to classes. You don’t need a teacher. You like flying solo.”
But when the student is ready, the teacher will present.
Now, we just needed to get that student into the studio.
Beyond all reason, I joined. I was determined to win.
This was my first instance of following my intuitive guidance in a very long time. It’s almost as if the Universe was conspiring to hook my ego so I wouldn’t resist going where I most needed to be.
Little did I know this challenge would lead me on the greatest adventure of my life.
Yin yoga.
That’s where I met Georgia. I had no idea what awaited me in a yin class, but the drip-drop of knowledge sprinkled throughout each of Georgia’s classes called to me. That’s how my mindset ever so slowly shifted & my life began to change.
The poems & meditations, angels & spirit animals, the slow teaching of chakra theory, meridians, & traditional Chinese medicine woven throughout each class had me grasping for more knowledge & unlocking doors to knowing myself on a deeper level.
I was fascinated.
It wasn’t about the yoga. It was about what came up & out as I sank deeper into the poses. The yoga facilitated the emotional releases that I’d avoided for decades.
Yin yoga quickly became my favorite class. With time, I longed for 5-minute dragons. That’s when my biggest emotional releases came.
I still dreaded child’s pose until very recently. Wounded inner child. I wasn’t ready to embrace her yet.
I all but forgot my vinyasa practice.
I craved the slower speed in life. I craved healing.
The tears shed in classes & workshops with Georgia were immense. I never perceived myself to be afraid of my emotions, but truth is I was terrified of them. Without processing my emotions & traumas, they settled into my body & created all of the disease & pain I was living with.
Repressed. Suppressed. Depressed. Dis-eased. This had become my life.
I spent 7 months in Georgia’s yin & restorative classes before a friend gently nudged me to finally have a Reiki session with her.
Dis-ease presents within our body from unresolved emotions & trauma. The emotion that we tuck away & don’t process eats at our cells. Heavy emotions are difficult to sit with, but when they sit inside our body, eventually our body starts screaming.
I was literally numb.
I hadn’t felt my left forearm & hand in 7 years. Numb, but functional. Doctors pushed me off, not understanding the severity.
Eventually, the numbness & pressure enveloped my left leg.
Then, my right leg joined in to a lesser, though still painful, degree.
My sensations fluctuated between numbness & searing pain. An odd combination to say the least.
My nervous system was fried from years of living in fight or flight mode. This was the damage caused by my emotions & trauma.
Some movements or body positioning sent jolts of electricity through my limbs. My nerves were seriously mis-firing. Sitting, standing, laying down, lifting my arms, chopping vegetables, typing, you name it – none of it was comfortable.
Rest was fleeting.
I lived with the mixed sensation of heaviness, as if my limbs were filled with lead, & numbness, as if I’d had a local anesthetic that never wore off. I could observe that touch was occurring, but the sensation of touch had become foreign through most of my body.
I felt as if a right & left half of 2 distinctly different bodies had been sewn together for me to live in.
My right side had sensation & felt relatively normal.
My left side was dead.
After so many years of suffering, I was finally referred to a spine specialist. Answers were on the way!
The spine specialist diagnosed me with severe nerve damage through the left side of my body & moderate nerve damage in my right leg. After 7 years of chronic pain, I finally had a diagnosis & a referral to a neurologist.
We had the “what”. Now we’d find the “why”.
The neurologist ordered a repeat of all the tests I’d previously endured, some just 2 months earlier. This would be my 3rd neck MRI in 4 years. The MRI results were the first time my neurologist sat across from me dumbfounded. The second came 3 months later with a repeat EMG.
When you realize just how powerful your existence is & that you can heal your life, the world opens up to you.
Fear melts away.
When you understand that our emotions create dis-ease, the hopelessness can begin to lift. You can reclaim your power. You can reclaim your health. Healing is in your hands.
You are powerful, not powerless.
My first Reiki session was 2 weeks before my neck MRI. The experience was both relaxing & profound. The waves of energy were like nothing I’d ever experienced. Even though I wouldn’t yet admit it to myself, I knew I’d found healing.
Back then, I was doubtful & needed proof.
I was about to get it.
A car accident years before left me with 2 bulging discs in my neck. On this MRI though, no sign of the bulging discs remained.
Healed!
Of course at the time, I didn’t understand Reiki to be anything but a miracle. Now I understand Reiki to be bringing me into alignment with all the inner work I’d been doing both in the yoga classes & the changes I’d been making in my daily life. Reiki was setting me into the frequency of where I now stood & walking away from all that I’d shed.
A healer can continue to align you session after session, but you must go out & do the work to maintain it.
In late December 2017, my neurologist stared in disbelief at the MRI images. I’d have thought they mixed up my chart had I not felt the difference. But I no longer had constant pressure against my the back of my throat. I knew something had changed structurally within my body.
My repeat EMG showed mild nerve damage through my left arm & leg. I’d reported the return of sensation since my previous visit. Only 5 months had passed since my first EMG & 3 months since my last visit.
I’d been Reiki attuned & had numerous Reiki sessions in that time frame. I’d also begun taking a Vitamin D supplement & using essential oils, Wintergreen & Helichrysum, on my nerve damaged areas several times a day.
My neurologist sat across from me incredulous to what another repeat test was showing, a test that he was actively conducting. Reversal of symptoms.
It would be some time before I regained full sensation in my limbs after so many years, but my nerves were firing again.
Numbness, especially in my left forearm, still returns in times of extreme stress. Our emotions affect our body physically. But once you unlock the code, you can work with it to reverse & potentially, heal it.
Pay attention to when a physical symptom appears. What are you doing? How are you feeling emotionally? What state is your nervous system in? Focusing inward will point to where the disconnect is, perhaps where a boundary is needed, & where an unhealthy pattern exists in your life. Some of these are rooted in you from childhood.
Have patience with yourself while you navigate these avenues. Be gentle & compassionate towards yourself. You can’t heal while in judgement of yourself.
Finding the “what” can be a defining moment for introducing a pattern interrupt. It truly is half the battle. Once you find it, you can work on creating a new way. You can work on healing.
You can begin to heal your life piece by piece. It’s within your hands.
What is your experience with energy healing? Have you found a teacher who’s changed your life? Tell me about it in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!
Love & light,
**Disclaimer: The above is my personal journey to healing & is provided for educational purposes only. Please consult a medical professional or healthcare provider for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.**
Unfurled Wings 
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