Just as I look at a tree that’s grown at an odd angle & has seemingly been twisted & wonder what is your story, tree? What happened to make you grow as you did? I used to become so stuck in wanting to understand why the bully was so mean. 

What happened to them? We are all born with love in our hearts, but hate is learned. Reality is I’ll never know. Often a person has become this way to hide their own hurt, pain, trauma, or neglect they endured.

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I’ve often been the target. My empathetic heart has made me hang on too long. The pain I see in them beneath the anger is something I just want to hug & fix. And so I become the willing target, resenting them but wanting so fiercely to help them at the same time.

I’ve suffered much bullying through life, but the curious thing is most of it has come in my closest relationships. And in that, I finally see I’m worth so much more than the vulnerability they expose & exploit. 

I choose to no longer keep the walls up around me that I’d built so long ago, finally knowing that I’m worth far more. I would never treat someone I loved like they treat me & I see the cutting words & insults as not to do with me at all. But about their own internal struggle. Their own internal hate of self. 

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I can’t fix anyone but me. Even if I could, in my experience, they don’t want fixing. They are happy as long as they get to project that hate into someone else’s aura & pull them down.

They like to break someone. This is how they feel powerful. It makes me sad for them. To “thrive” in that way. But really they aren’t thriving, they are remaining stuck in their own muck & a false sense of power.

I now see the hatred as a desperate grasping for power in someone who is truly powerless. To push one person below them inflates their ego. Sad really.

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Healers though, we like to build someone up, to hug them until they feel whole again, to guide them through the pain that’s eaten them up & help them see the light of their beauty on the other side of it. This is the difference in us & also, the reason we are targeted.

We see & feel their pain & their potential & want to be the light in the dark to help them through.

But they just aim to extinguish our light.

Don’t hide your light though. There are others out there who will love & appreciate it & need you to guide them through. Keep shining for them.

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The same boiling water that hardens the egg, softens the potato. Same with the 2 people in this equation. 

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Do you let the pain you’ve endured eat you up inside & use it to destroy others? Or do you use it to feel for others & light the way on their path? 

I choose the latter because I know what it’s like to be subjected to the former. I truly believe anyone has this potential within them. But it starts with wanting to change, choosing self reflection, & finding a new way of being.

This is how we heal, not destroy. Build up, not breakdown. 

It’s a path we can all choose. Change is merely a choice we make for ourselves & then, move forward step by step towards our new vision of ourselves.

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And those subjected to the painful words, we can choose to rise up & walk away at any time. Once we’ve been pushed too far & we’ve grown into knowing we deserve far better, that’s when we are gone. No turning back.

Perhaps they’ll never grow, but we aren’t worried about them anymore. We are finally just worried about our own happiness & wellbeing, not theirs.

Blossom & be free. You are no longer a victim. Remove that identity from your chest.

Love & light,