Grand plans, or maybe just baby-sized ones, are laid out. You’re moving along that path at a brisk pace. Nothing could stop you until bam! There’s a boulder in your path.
Ugh… now what do I do?!?
Historically speaking, I’ve quit.
It was most definitely time for a perspective shift.
I’ve never been very good as easing in or slowing down. It was all or nothing. Pausing made my skin itch. It felt uncomfortable. I never wanted to hold up the line, the progress, the project, other people.
I walked fast. Thoughts raced around my head. Waiting was never my strong suit. If I paused, anxiety took hold, laying out all the potential scenarios – typically not positive ones.
It comes as no surprise that pushing myself to the brink often led to something snapping. Which inevitably led to a long & inconvenient period of rest forced upon me.
Moving fast or standing still. The pendulum of my life has continually swung from one to the other. Recently, it was my feet. Years of bare foot living in & around my home has taken it’s toll.
The pain began when I was quite literally standing still. I’d decided it was time utilize my standing desk for work instead of sitting at my kitchen table. I set daily “hours in my office” goals for myself. This is healthier, right?
I went from sitting all day with a lunchtime walk to standing most of the day plus a lunchtime walk. And my feet cried out in searing pain.
Standing in one place will be the death of us. Without moving, we don’t evolve. Stagnancy is no friend of mine.
So what do I do with this pain?
My feet hurt so badly I could hardly walk, let alone stand at my desk. I purchased arch supports at a specialty store. I was desperate for a relief – quick relief. The supports allowed me to be on my feet, but I was still hurting nightly. They weren’t right for me. I actually ended up in far more pain than what I started with. At night, I couldn’t sleep because the pain was so intense.
Standing at my desk was out of the question.
I spent a lot of my life running in fear – fear of missing out, fear of being left behind, fear of abuse, fear of not fitting in. Unraveling trauma responses takes time. I was safe now & had nothing to fear. With practice & gentle compassion, healing & new ways of being can become our life.
I didn’t need to run anymore, but the voice in my head still wants to hurry hurry hurry, rush rush rush. I’m working on rewiring that system. I continuously remind myself to slow down, but I know this adjustment will become habit with practice & persistence.
I committed 40-some years to rushing & running, I’m not likely to drop that habit overnight.
Sometimes the obstacle is the path.
Sometimes it’s not here to halt our progress, but to help us prove our commitment & find ways to work through this unexpected challenge.
The day my custom orthotics were ordered, I joined a walking challenge. Daily step counts gradually increased throughout the month – starting at 3k & ending at 10k steps. Knowing my pain reduced when I moved vs when I was sedentary, I felt this was a step in the right direction for me. I was, however, nervous about making those step counts.
I found things that complimented my walking needs, but all of them were temporary. I added ice & massage. The most impactful part of this nightly routine was Tong Ren healing. I learned the Tong Ren healing modality a few days into the challenge and the reduction in my pain was remarkable & immediate. It truly is what got me through the month.
Tong Ren was developed by an acupuncturist, Tom Tam. The basic philosophy of Tong Ren is a blockage exists in the body that is restricting blood or nerve flow & causing dis-ease. By finding the blockage & opening up the flow, we can heal the pain or the dis-ease. Tong Ren utilizes an acupuncture doll and tapping. Tap on a certain sequence of points to open up the flow. It’s astonishing how well something so simple has alleviated my pain.
Throughout my past, I’ve been committed to a workout regimen for months or years & then, an injury would occur. A meniscus tear is the first that comes to mind. I stopped cold in my workout routine because if I couldn’t do everything, I did nothing. Upper body workouts, Pilates – there was so much I could still do, but I chose to quit instead.
But life isn’t all or nothing.
It’s working with what you have.
It’s working with where you are and moving forward through it.
It’s persevering beyond the obstacle.
It’s working with the obstacle and navigating your way through life. It’s making a dance of it.
It’s reaching the goal despite the obstacle.
In the past, I’d always let that obstacle be my roadblock and I’d step back from my goal.
But I’m not doing that anymore. That’s what I said on the first day of this challenge.
I’ve seen this story before. I know how it goes. I’m writing a new ending this time.
The same lessons will keep presenting until you introduce a pattern interrupt by changing your approach. Persevere despite the setback. Find your way around it & you’ll be free of that lesson.
My inner narrative throughout this challenge was: I’m going to work with my pain. I’m going to do only what I can. I’m going to be okay if I don’t hit the step count everyday. I’m going to be okay taking the beginner step count when I need.
Be ok as the beginner. Beginner’s mind can be a blessing.
What I found is with these small daily treatments – ice, massage, & Tong Ren – I was been able to walk daily with a weekly rest day. If I’m walking slowly & mindfully, the tendons & muscles in my feet gently stretch and they feel better after the walk. But some days, most days actually, it’s my pace.
I attempt to hurry. Get the walk in. Get the steps in.
I’m not in the moment. I’m rushing past it.
I’m not enjoying the space I’m in. My head is elsewhere.
I’m not enjoying the movement. I’m just doing it to get it done.
It’s a to-do list item in that mode.
But when I slow my pace, my pain eases & I can get through the walk.
If I hurried, I’d have to quit early. I’d delay reaching my intended step count for several days because I ignored my pain & my pace that one day.
And there’s my lesson in this. The obstacle is there to see if I’m ready to persist in reaching my goal. Not by hurrying, but through slowing down & enjoying the journey.
Mindful walking has added the most enjoyable walking experiences to my days & has also helped me to tune into when my body needs a break. Sometimes, that break was a few days.
Enjoy the time you’re giving yourself. Enjoy the self-care because you’re worth it. And most of all , listen to your body – if it’s screaming, stop.
Life isn’t meant to be a to-do list. It’s meant to be lived and loved.
In the final week of the challenge, my custom orthotics finally arrived. They are glorious & my feet are happy. I was able to move again at a regular pace. It wasn’t my typical fast pace, but it wasn’t the crawling pace either. It felt good. Standing in place was still not on the menu though.
Having the right support is so important in both shoes & in life.
Slow down, but keep moving – my body’s message to me extends far beyond my feet.
Last night, against my podiatrist’s guidance, I used heat on my feet instead of ice for the first time in 2 months. My feet felt relief they haven’t found in months. This morning, I was able to be barefoot briefly (I didn’t want to push it). I’m so happy I could cry. I hope this is a sign of things to come in finding a balance between shoes & shoeless in my days.
You know your body & what it needs best – just listen.
Dance with your obstacle. May you carve a new path on your journey.
Love & light,
**Disclaimer: The above is my personal journey. Please consult a medical professional or healthcare provider for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, especially before beginning an exercise regimen. Always pay attention to your own body’s signals & needs.**
Unfurled Wings 
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