In the midst of a potentially life-changing medical diagnosis, I declared the summer of 2022 to be my celebration of life. Following COVID’s nixing of concerts, this year would be a glorious celebration of unity in music for me. I wasn’t sure that I would make the string of concerts I’d planned to attend across several states at the end of August, but I was sure going to try.

Having those plans got me through the better part of the year.

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Music heals.

The lyrics, the rhythm, the community. As a young girl, the Live albums were always my favorites. I knew there was something magical to be had in the collective energy of those crowds long before experiencing it for myself.

If you are familiar with Solfeggio frequencies, you know music truly has healing capabilities. For whatever ails me, I google the symptom or diagnosis + “healing frequency” & listen. 15-20 minutes a day has always been my minimum goal. In special circumstances, I listen far longer during the day or even through the whole night.

“Brain healing frequency” that’s the one I was tuned into both day & night beginning on Black Friday 2021. I had a brain hemorrhage accompanied by a growth in my temporal-parietal lobe. The thought of brain surgery was terrifying. The thought of this growth’s presence was another story.

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For months, I knew that something had changed inside my brain. I could feel the spot pulsating. I had a constant dull headache, far different from my normal headaches.

My routine brain MRI that morning was different than previous ones too. As I drove home, I burst into tears. I knew there was something terribly wrong.

That afternoon’s “go directly to the ER” phone call confirmed it.

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I’ll discuss the “hows” of my holistic practice in depth at another time, but I’m grateful to say the cavernous malformation shrunk significantly over the next 8 weeks. My follow-up MRI was to judge if it was growing or staying the same & essentially, how quickly surgery needed to happen. In 4 years of receiving brain MRIs every 6 months, the cavernous malformation had always remained unchanged, until now.

We were delighted to find the growth was now smaller than its original size.

Surgery had just become optional & I planned to take the option to put this behind me. A functional MRI at the start of summer confirmed the malformation’s size had stabilized. However, it’s location meant no surgeon would touch me, unless another bleed occurred. Then it would be life-saving surgery & none of this would matter.

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The cavernous malformation lay dangerously close to a region known as Wernicke’s area. Wernicke’s area is vital for speech & language processing. Damage to the area is irreversible. There was no speech therapy or other treatment that could help. Injury here meant my words would be nonsensical, likely gibberish. I would be forever locked in a world where written & spoken words didn’t make sense.

I’d once had a migraine with stroke-like symptoms. I spoke as if I was drunk, slurring my garbled words. I was reading at the time & the words on the page made no sense. This was a peek into what life would be. It was a nightmare for just the few hours I experienced it. Life this way was unthinkable.

I’d be forever trapped in a mind that couldn’t express itself. For a person who loves words, this was a terrifying & depressing prospect.

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Music.

Music was huge for me this year. It healed me on so many levels. When I heard an interview with Marc Roberge of the band O.A.R. discussing the song “Peace”, it became my anthem through this health struggle. “I don’t wanna fight no more, only wanna get to shore”. It was about his wife’s health battle.

Tired of fighting this dis-ease, just want to be well again. “Peace” held new meaning. Now, the song plays & the tears stream. It hits right to the center of my being. I’m grateful to be on the other side of the fight.

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That year I became a woman looking for experiences that brought me joy & made me feel alive. Music had been my steady companion through all of life’s ups & downs so music was my ticket.

In addition to my own journey, I was also planning for the what ifs. What if I’m not able to do x with my daughter? What if music didn’t make sense anymore either? First concerts with favorite bands were planned & one of those trips brought us to Connecticut.

The angels were smiling upon us. By some stroke of luck, we won passes for a private acoustic set & got to meet Marc ahead of O.A.R.’s concert that night. Life was good. We were on cloud nine.

I’ve never made a sign for a concert before, but this night meant so much. My daughter was so excited for the show & she went to work. She fiercely hoped to hear her favorite song “Fire”. She prepared her sign days before we won the contest. That afternoon was more than enough for me. My daughter though wanted her hard work to be seen (her poster was pretty spectacular). So into the concert came the poster.

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The rest of the night was surreal. Her sign made it up on stage! The setlist was changed to accommodate her request. The moment was pure magic. To listen to the show’s recording & hear the dedication & also the crowd’s reaction is incredible.

I can still feel the disbelief of the moment like “is this really happening?” as we sang & danced together. The energy in the crowd was palpable. It’s one of those moments where I can close my eyes with the memory & be transported back there.

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A band knows honoring a request means the world & creates special memories for the fans. No one can ever take away. But there’s no way they could ever know how extraordinary this night was for us.

A mother taking her daughter to her first O.A.R. concert in case she didn’t get the chance, turned into a truly unforgettable day. I am so blessed & honored to have my daughter as the recipient of such a magnificent gesture.

I truly believe that witnessing an act of kindness fills up our being with so much warmth, it’s as if we were the recipient. That’s what I felt in the crowd that night. And we go out into the world with that glow & want to do good for others. This is the infectious power of random acts of kindness. Go out & offer kindness to the world.

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I am eternally grateful for the blessings of that night. We will carry the memories with us forever.

How has music played a role in your healing?

Love & light,